I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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