In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
This house was built for laser tag.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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