Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
