a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
