I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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