He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You made out with two different species that night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
you never un-have a 4some
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
