Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
