Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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