Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize