I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize