Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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