I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
