i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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