I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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