yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
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I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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