ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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