he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
