How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
