have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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