I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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