the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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