i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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