so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
