Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
