he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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