i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
