im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
