everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
