I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
