Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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