OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
