No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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