my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
