Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
