I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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