i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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