I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
