I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
