If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
