Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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