Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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