i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
