Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
