I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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