Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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