You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
