I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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