when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize