I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize