his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just googled if crying burns calories
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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