I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
