She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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