Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
