Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
