Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
