Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
