We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
