I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
