$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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