Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
