A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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