i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
