Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
